NikkerZ

TOPIC OF THE DAY:

Do you feel there is a difference between punishment and consequences? How does discipline fit into this? Who or what determines whether the person(s) doling out the punishment/consequences/discipline have the right to do so?

As many of you know it is ”Fire Prevention Week” nation-wide.  Ironically, my youngest son came home with a discipline referral slip that stated he and a friend were “attempting to start a forest fire with a magnifying glass”.

The consequences were: a trip to the principal’s office, a DR (discipline referral), suspension of the next day’s recesses, sitting with the firefighters at lunch and writing a report about it. 

Naturally, I approached the principal with regard to the DR. I could tell by her body language/non verbal communication (turning around w/her back towards me, attempting to make conversations with others, etc.) that she knew I was coming to talk to her about this. For the record, I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable or feel like they need to put up a defensive wall when talking about hot topic issues. So, I try to make sure my approach is more from a “concerned, interested parent”. I do believe it is a fair assumption that I have the right to express my concerns and views as a parent but also on behalf of other parents/students.

I started to think about why she was putting this wall up before I talked to her? I started to think about what she might be thinking and what was going through her head. Why put a defensive wall up if you feel that the consequences you gave were morally correct? OR is she afraid of confrontation with me-which would be odd because we’ve known each other for years and have a good repoire. But, I think it is important that you consider these questions whenever you have a potentially stressful topic being discussed.  So, I started to wonder if she felt like the discipline she doled out was not settling “right” in her conscious? Or did I do something to make her feel like she had to “operate with full defensive armour”?

We started to discuss the DR at which point I was told that she felt she was very “relaxed” with the consequences (not punishment) that was given. I expressed that agreeably, disciplinary action was certainly appropriate BUT to take recesses away from a child with ADHD is counterproductive, in my opinion. I also complimented her on the creative integration of “lunch with the firefighters” and writing a report (although, my son has comprehensive reading/writing issues…perhaps drawing a picture would have been better for him”?). My point being, I think it’s important to have disciplinary action that is directly related to the inappropriate action.I also think it is important to have a good understanding of the student and make an attempt to create disciplinary measures that take the student’s strengths and weaknesses into account. For example, kids who have cognitive processing issues. I truly believe that the lesson to be learned will be more successful this way. Which then prompted me to ask the question about the additional recesses being taken away. Her response was, “This is more than fair Nikki. In fact, I think I’m being to easy.” Ok, understood. I don’t necessarily disagree but I really wish that the additional consequences were more like the “lunch with the firefighters scenario”. So, I explained this to her in about a dozen different approaches. She was unwilling to listen or take my perspective into consideration. Her final words were,”I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.”

I guess…..but how sad that she isn’t taking the opportunity to listen to parents’ views or entertain the possibility that other positive disciplinary measures are out there…there is always new research about the newest, most successful disciplinary tactics that can be used in the school environment. Why not consider it?

As I tried to explain this along with Gardener’s Eight Intelligences (it’s actually 9 now but Gardener believes there are as many as 20! Google it!) and how this theory can be applied in the classroom NOT just for teaching methods but for other areas as well, like disciplinary approaches.

She then started rattling off a barage of information which included dibels scores, meap testing, etc. Really, I don’t think anyone wants to know what I think about standardized testing….well hey-wait a minute, it’s my blog…so I guess I can voice my opinion, right? Well, I think they are STUPID. However, I respectfully listened to her response but wondered how this connected to the disciplinary tactic approaches? She must of been side tracked when I used the word “teaching method”? I wish she would have listened to my entire response.

So, I applauded the testing scores (even though I think they are stupid) and tried to bring the conversation back to “consequences” again. At which point, she CB radioed the office and asked the front desk secretary, “What time is THAT appointment?” The response was, “Ummm let me see….um….yeah, I think it’s at 4:30 pm.” She turned around and started walking toward the front office and said, “If you would like, we can make an appointment to meet about this to discuss it further.”

I would love to do that IF she would entertain the idea of different ideas and my personal perspective. However, it is doubtful that it will happen (based on the above mentioned).

I guess I wonder if my son’s consequences were truly consequences intended for children who had the same offenses in the past? She clearly doesn’t like my son (based on a number of different things that I won’t go into today)….which makes me wonder if the consequences were in fact, more of a punishment?

What do you think?

Nikki